Je Ne Regrette Rien
by SogniDoroBella
Summary: Continues in my Once Upon a Kindergarten, this one is very Belle-centric and while it contains shades of RumBelle, Red Beauty, and some FrankenWolf, most of the interaction is between Belle and Granny. Almost entitled this "Belle's Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day," but then it ended up deeper than that. Sad but comforting in here. Comments welcome, requests considered.


_Some shades of Rumbelle, Red Beauty, & Frankewolf all in the worlds of Once Upon a Kindergarten. Hopefully this all makes sense like I hoped it would… I never imagined it would be this long. Nor did I imagine almost breaking my bitty Belle. Thanks to all of you who so faithfully read and comment on these. It really amazes me sometimes that people love these bitties as much as I do._

Belle still felt achy and tumbly inside, but she sat on the little stool they used at Granny's to reach the sink (well, the one _she _used at Granny's) and submitted to Rum picking out a few woodchips tangled up in her curls and Ruby helping her brush off some more of the dirt clinging to her skirt and leggings. She wanted to change, but it was too much work and too much moving. Once they were satisfied they had done all they could, Rum, Ruby, and Viktor all took their turns washing their hands. And because the others had washed their hands first, it wasn't until she tried to twist the water off again that Belle realized it hurt to try to do that and that it was hard to shut it with her other hand.

"C'mon, my little odd ducks!" Granny was calling them, and Belle joined the others at the breakfast nook in the kitchen. Soup was waiting for them, and little yellow squares of bread with something inside them were waiting for her when she joined everyone else in the kitchen.

"Here," Viktor offered, plunking down a juice box in front of her while Ruby handed over some of the squares.

"It's grilled cheese; it's good!" Ruby chimed in when Belle realized she must have looked lost. "It's grilled and, um… cheesy. And crunchy!"

Tucking her arm into her lap, Belle reached for one of the squares and nibbled at it. It was hot, but not enough to burn her mouth, and very cheesy like Ruby said. And crunchy. There was something else yummy in there, too, and she took a second, braver bite.

"Start with the soup, Rum," Granny called over to the boy as he was eyeing the meal. Following the directions, for once, he slid a bowl closer and sipped carefully at the chicken and noodles.

_Belle was partly sprawled across the grass and still trying to catch her breath as the world gradually stopped spinning around her. It was her hands that she noticed first, stinging palms, and she turned them up to see they were pink but not bleeding. Her stomach felt a little funny, too, and she wrinkled her nose at the sour smell that was finally filtering its way into her brain._

"_SHE did it on purpose!" came a sobbing voice, and Belle finally looked around her to see the overgrown boy of eight crying freely as he climbed into his mother's lap—a lap he was much to too big to fit into. He broke into fresh cries now, not answering any more questions that his mother was posing. _

_Not far away from her, Belle could see why there was a funny smell. Rum was on his hands and knees and had thrown up their snack all over the other side of the merry-go-round._

"_Granny!" Ruby shouted, coming up to Belle and trying to tug her to her feet. Belle stumbled, still dizzy and jerked as if stung when the older boy started shouting and pointing at her again. She didn't like that boy, not at all. He said his name was Gaston, and while it sounded like a name from __grandmere__'s place, she didn't want to know him at all._

Ruby obviously wasn't bothered at all by their disastrous morning at the park. She had been the one to finally help Belle to her feet after she tumbled off of Gaston, both of them falling off the merry-go-round. Granny was too busy helping Rum and somehow keeping him from getting any of the throw up on himself, even if later Belle could see some of it on Gaston's shirt.

Belle swallowed at the memory and started to reach for her juice box. She forgot about her arm and tried to open hers, whimpering when it hurt.

"Granny?" Rum was already calling, and Belle went very still, not wanting to make a scene, not wanting to cause any more trouble today. Papa always said '_be a good girl, love' _when he dropped her off. Maybe she wouldn't get to stay the night anymore, and she didn't want that because she liked staying here. She liked being with Ruby and Rum, and Viktor was sorta nice, too, this week when they didn't have any school. Granny was watching them all week, although the boys went home at night.

Their babysitter was moving to the table already, standing while she munched on her own sandwich and made sure that Viktor and Ruby didn't choke in their efforts to down their meal. "Ready to try a little grilled cheese?"

He shook his head and climbed down from his spot (definitely something they did not do at meals because Granny always said to stay in your seat). She hoped he didn't get in trouble because he wasn't doing anything bad. Rum stopped beside Belle and pointed, very careful not to touch. "She got hurt."

It was quiet, even Ruby had stopped eating for a moment to stand up in her chair and try to see what Rum was talking about. The quite reminded her of that long time just after she fell off of the merry-go-round when all she could hear was something wooshy sounding and a sad groaning sound of their big toy creaking behind her like a scary monster. And she couldn't get the air inside her for that whole time, like she tried to pull it _in_ but for a long time it felt like it wasn't coming inside.

Granny stepped closer, reaching for her arm. The second she brushed it, Belle felt the little ache jump into a bigger one, and she pulled it back and hugged it close to her chest. Her messy curls tumbled in her face, and she hid behind them, trying not to sniffle, not to be a bother. "Let me see, Belle," Granny coaxed.

She should. She _knew_ she should, but Belle's head had a mind of its own and shook anyway. No. Shifting around in her chair, she faced the back of it, curling against it. Her achy hand was cradled in her lap, good hand clutching at one of the wooden slats.

_Belle's fingers gripped the cool metal bar, hugging it close. She was sitting on the flat surface of the merry-go-round with her legs wrapped and crossed around the bar and holding it like a lifeline. The wind blew around them, and Belle closed her eyes, savoring the moment._

"_The cloud is spinning!"_

_A glance to her left, and she saw Rum laughing and staring straight up. He was in the middle of the merry-go-round this time. Everyone except Belle had taken turns in the middle. Whoever was in the middle would brace each foot against a different bar, hands holding onto a bar each to brace themselves. Except she wasn't tall enough, yet, to reach the bars. The one time she tried, she would have fallen off if Ruby and Rum hadn't caught her and pulled her to a single bar._

_Now it was Rum's turn again, only as Ruby jumped on, _he_ showed up._

"_I'll make you spin!" Gaston growled, catching a bar and running much faster than any of them had. _

"_Stop it!" Ruby shouted indignantly, trying to swat at him but unable to move much from her spot as the toy went faster and faster._

"_You shouldn't play if you're scared of it!" their bully taunted, grinning wide as he saw how Belle clutched tighter at the bar._

_She'd hated it, and she felt something big and angry welling up that made her not like him, either. "Arrête!" she had shouted, only to have him reply that he couldn't understand her. Like she was stupid, like it was her fault that everyone only talked in English here._

_With an ugly laugh, Gaston jumped onto the merry-go-round with them and moved himself toward the middle. Bracing himself with a bar, his feet pushed against Rum's shoulder. "Get off!" he ordered._

"_N-no!" Rum turned, trying to push away the foot and slipped a little._

"_Move!" Gaston retorted, pressing harder, his foot lifting to kick._

_She was moving before she even realized what she was doing. "Get off!" Belle shrieked, throwing herself at Gaston as hard as she could. He was going to hurt Rum, really hurt him. Not like when someone pinched or tripped someone. He didn't care what happened to Rum or any of the rest of them. He was __garçon stupide, and she didn't care what he said or did._

_The merry-go-round was still spinning fast, and she didn't have any time to think about what would happen. She just remembered knocking into him and both of them rolling through the woodchips, her arms coming up over her face and the heavy feeling when she landed. It had seemed like forever before she could breathe in air again._

"Belle, I need to see it," Granny was at her side now, carefully stroking back the messy curls and tucking them behind Belle's ear. Before she could protest again, Granny was lifting her up and settling into the chair, pulling Belle into her lap all while waving the other three off and telling them to finish eating their lunch while she took care of this. "Listen to me, can you hold it up for me to look at?"

"It's o-okay," Belle sniffled unconvincingly. With a pang that brought on a sudden sniffle, she realized how disappointed her mummy would have been to hear her tell such a lie.

"Look up for me," she coaxed, one hand rubbing Belle's back the way her mummy used to do, the way that used to make her feel better. Granny's other hand cupped her chin and gently but firmly lifted it.

Belle looked up, scowling and blinking hard at the bright lights. She still felt achy all over, like she was the towels in the dryer bouncing around and around. Granny's hand was feeling her head carefully, stroking through her curls and over her back and shoulders. It made her sniffle, but it felt safe.

"_You need to get control of those hellions!" came an angry voice._

_It made Belle tremble, and beside her, she felt Ruby move to stand defiantly between her and Gaston's mother. And then, for a brief moment, Belle remembered that she hadn't done anything wrong. Not exactly, anyway._

"_That boy is too big for a little mite like this to hurt," Granny was speaking up now, stepping in front of Ruby and giving Belle two lines of defense. "Looked to me like he pulled her off." She bent down a little to peer closer at Belle. "You alright there?"_

_Biting her bottom lip, Belle nodded bravely, stepping closer and leaning against Granny's side. The arm that slipped around her shoulders was protective._

"_My heeeead," Gaston whined, reaching up and rubbing a spot that had seemed to be just fine moments before._

"_See? He's hurt, and she did it," his mother insisted. "She could've killed him!"_

_That word made Belle feel sick. Killed. It was an ugly word, and she shivered in disbelief. Nothing like this was supposed to happen! Killed was a bad word that meant you didn't come back again. Not ever, not at all. It was ugly, and she wanted to get away from it. She didn't. She couldn't have. The word bubbled up inside her, making her stomach twist hard and making her feel like she might be sick like Rum._

"_She did not!" Rum threw back. "He tried to kick me off the merry-go-round, and she slipped and it knocked them off!"_

"_Ruby, is that what happened?" Granny asked, glancing over her shoulder. _

"_Yeah!" Ruby replied, Viktor's voice echoing hers._

_Granny's head tilted, and she pointed at the boy who was still sniffling and crying. It hadn't escaped Belle's notice that Gaston would stop crying and be calm only to make his lip trembly again each time his mother looked down at him—and she could tell he was too heavy and his mother was about to drop him if she had to hold him much longer. "Sounds like a bully to me," Granny said airily. "If he can't take a push or shove, he shouldn't be the one dishing them out."_

"_Completely out of hand, the whole lot of them!" his mother scolded, coddling him and kissing the supposedly injured forehead. "C'mon, we're going home." She threw one last angry look at each of them and turned to the car, but not before finally having to set him down on his own two feet. She tucked his hand into hers and walked him to their car, and Belle wished her mummy was there to take her hand._

A big hand, bigger than her mummy's was rubbing her back now, and Belle didn't remember when she had buried her face against the shoulder or when she had started to sniffled again. The empty-inside and hurt feeling bubbled up, but she couldn't hold it in this time, and it came out in a sob and a hiccup. Another cry followed it, and she curled into a little ball in her tucked-away place.

"It's okay, I've got you," Granny murmured, still rubbing her back in that way her mummy used to do. But she wasn't mummy, and it wasn't okay. Bigger cries tumbled out before she could stop them, and Belle was too tired to fight them back this time.

She didn't know when everyone else left the kitchen, only that eventually she sobbed and coughed and almost gagged. Before she could be sick, Granny already had her up and to the sink.

"Ssssh, easy there. Calm yourself down now," the elder lady soothed, finally seating Belle on the counter beside the sink and keeping one hand on her knee to be sure she stayed still while the other turned on the water and let it run a few moments. She handed over some tissues, waiting for Belle to blow her nose before she washed her face. The warm rag was comforting, and she finally caught her breath and managed to stop crying.

This time she didn't ask, she simply let her hand rub Belle's shoulder and then slid carefully down her arm, cupping the elbow while her other hand oh-so-carefully rolled back the sleeve of the jacket Belle had borrowed for the park. "Oh, little lion-heart," Granny sighed when she finally could see her wrist. It was bruised and a little puffy. "This must hurt a lot."

"A l-little," Belle whispered, sniffling softly and using her other hand to rub her nose.

Granny tucked another tissue into her good hand before gently setting her hurt one back into Belle's lap. She fumbled through the high up cabinet for a minute before asking Belle to open up and giving her a kinda blah tasting round thing. "This'll help it not hurt so much. Next, I think some ice, and we'll call up your papa—"

"No!" Belle yelped, eyes going wide. "It's okay!"

"Ssssh, easy," the woman tried to calm her, stepping closer and keeping her from scooting around too much and falling off the counter. "Your papa would want to know if you were hurt."

She shook her head. No, they couldn't tell Papa, and she would be brave and good and not bother him. "No, please," she tried again.

"Why can't we tell him?" Granny asked gently, rinsing the washcloth again and rubbing the warm, damp fabric over Belle's cheeks and nose again.

"'cause," she whispered, swallowing against the bad feeling welling up again, the one that made her cry earlier.

"You can tell me, little lion-heart," she murmured.

Belle's good hand twisted into her skirt, and she stared at her knees and chewed on her bottom lip for a minute before looking up into surprisingly soft eyes. "'cause he'll come and see me, and he'll get hurt."

Her brow wrinkled in confusion, and Belle sniffled a little. She didn't explain it right, and she was still trying to figure out how to explain it.

"How could he get hurt coming to see you?" Granny asked now.

"In his car," Belle sniffled, a little hiccup coming out. "'cause mummy did, and my arm got hurt, a-a-and our car went all upside down, and then she went away, and she's gone."

She must've explained it right this time, because Granny didn't ask anything. She just stepped in closer and gathered Belle into a very soft hug that ended with a kiss to the top of her head. She sighed, rubbing her back again for long moments before pulling back and leaning in slightly, eyes locking with Belle's. "Little lion-heart, I'm going to tell you something true, and I want you to remember it. Can you promise me that?"

It was serious and very important, Belle could tell. She nodded solemnly. "I promise," she whispered.

"Your mummy didn't get hurt and go away because you needed her. Or because you called for her. Or because your arm got hurt. And I know you might not understand all of that right now, but know it's true. Okay?"

Her brow furrowed a little, and Belle considered what she was saying. Or at least she tried to think about it. Her head was achy now, stuffy and her eyes a little tired, but she nodded. "Okay," she whispered. And then she swallowed and added, "G-granny?"

"Hmmm?"

Belle glanced down for courage and then met the woman's eyes again. "He was going to hurt Rum. And maybe Ruby and Viktor, too. Gaston was. Really bad hurt." She steeled herself and then whispered, "_Je ne regretted rien._"

"I'm not angry, and you did what you had to do," Granny answered, dropping one more kiss to the top of Belle's head. She didn't dwell on it, and Belle was glad because she was sagging on the counter now, worn out and finding it hard to keep her eyes all the way open.

There was a little more hurt when Granny made her show she could move her hurt hand a bit. And the ice wasn't very fun, but when Ruby finally came stalking back into the kitchen asking after her friend, Granny finally consented to let the four of them watch a movie for the afternoon so long as Belle agreed to let her call her papa and take her to see the doctor later if it got worse.

She pulled out the bed-thing underneath the couch for a special treat and piled it with blankets and pillows with Belle snuggled into the middle with a pillow under her arm and both Ruby's stuffed wolf and Viktor's toy monster. The last thing she remembered was _Hushabye Mountain_ and the warmth of Rum and Ruby curled up on either side and keeping watch.


End file.
